Friday, January 9, 2009

Throwing etiquette a curve ball...


As soon as Mr. Peep and I were engaged, Sister Peep (the original and best party thrower) insisted on throwing us an engagement party. (Seriously, before they even bought their new house she called and said that it has a great deck for a party-- an engagement party, hint hint. No joke). I personally, was a bit hesitant, I hadn't had a party thrown for myself since forever, except that one time when I was 22- we bought a keg and BBQ'd and decided to call it my birthday party- but I don't really think that counts.

Once we decided on a guest list of 60 for the wedding, I thought that the idea of throwing us an engagement party would be thrown out the window. Whoo hoo! Practically everyone on our guest list is from out of town- so having them come up for a pre-wedding weekend to celebrate us seemed excessive. And proper etiquette is to only invite people to your engagement party and showers if they are invited to the wedding. Or so I thought.

Sister Peep was so insistent on throwing us a party for all of our San Francisco friends that I decided to email
a Wedding Etiquette guru to find out if it was appropriate to invite folks to our engagement party that wouldn't be invited to our wedding.

A bit to my dismay, she thought it was perfect solution to celebrate with more friends and family. The more the merrier.

And while I think the jury may still be out on this question, we gave Sister Peep and Brother Peep (he didn't want to get left out of the party planning) the go ahead to plan an engagement party.

But that was just the beginning of the party planning. It seemed like everyone wanted to throw us a party. Future MIL Peep wanted to be able to celebrate with her girlfriends in Texas; Cousin Peep wanted to throw us a shower in LA; and Parents Peep wanted to throw us a post-wedding shindig in my hometown (a la Mrs. Avacado) after the wedding.

And of course, Sister Peep and her hubby can't wait to throw us respective bachelorette and bachelor parties.

Here's the catch, the majority of the guest list at these parties- not invited to our wedding!! Yep, we are that couple. Back in October I had a shower hosted by Future MIL and SIL PT in Houston for a bunch of women I barely knew, and are totally not on the invite list.

Do I feel guilty or wrong? I did for awhile, and then Mr. Peep's Aunt said, "Everyone just loves the two of you and we just want to celebrate it. And it's always more fun to get together on a joyous occasion!" And she was right, the shower and the engagement party were both fantastic and most people knew they wouldn't be invited to the wedding, and they seemed ok with that.

So that's how our 60 person wedding has turned into a traveling party. I have just learned to sit back and accept the fact that everyone loves a good party and my only role is to just soak in the love.

Have you thrown etiquette a curve ball in your planning process? Or had a party thrown for you under a bit of protest?

PS I know etiquette can be a touchy subject so please keep your comments positive! Thanks.

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